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YearbookSeth Rogen |
The Wozniaks and the Segways
After about five and a half hours of watching magic shows with the Wozniaksm we headed out of the club toward the valet. We handed our stub to the attendantm but the Wozniaks just kept walking toward the dark parking lot.
- ME: You guys didn’t valet?
- WOZ: No. Actually, we Segwayed.
- LAUREN: You what?
- WOZ: Segwayed! We’re staying at the W hotel a few miles up Hollywood Boulevard, so we just Segwayed here. Wanna see? ME: Uh…yeah?
They led us across the parking lot to a corner where, propped against a little shed, were two old Segways.
- ME: Bet you got on the Segway bandwagon pretty early?
- WOZ: Oh, you bet! These are the first Segways! See?!
He showed me the serial numbers on the handlebars: 001 and 002.
- ME: Wow! The first two Segways!
- WOZ: Yeah! The only thing is, they didn’t create any sort of headlight till later models, so we have to use these.
He pulled two flashlights out of his jacket pocket and gave one to his wife. With one hand operating the Segway, the other holding a flashlight, they drove off, looking as silly and happy as two people could.
How could this happen?
People were asking, “How could this happen?” And unfortunately, the answer is obvious. First, it’s real easy to get your hands on a high-powered assault rifle in America. Combine that with a president who de-stigmatized outward hatred in social-media platforms that allow people to stoke flames of hatred to the point of combustion.
Because of Twitter, the shooter didn’t see himself as a villain. He saw himself as a hero. This guy thought Jews were facilitating the entrance of terrorists into the country - an idea that’s been perpetuated by countless verified Twitter accounts, right-wing outlets, and GOP politicians. And without Jack doing anything to stop the spread of these lies, all he was telling people was that they were NOT lies. If they were, he wouldn’t be endorsing and amplifying them, right? Wouldn’t he take the verification away from people who dpread these lies if they were in fact lies? No action, no infraction. It all must be true.
One of the first times the militant ant anti-Semitic right wing started to target me online was after I told off Ben Carson for saying that Jews could have protected themselves better during the Holocaust if they’d had easier access to guns. A crazy idea that not only blames Jews for being victims but uses the deaths of the Holocaus to bolster America’s ridiculous gun laws.
These victim-blaming talking points were being repeated just hours after the shooting, not only by the media but by the president himself. The idea that it’s up to the threatened classes to protect themselves from bigots rather than up to the bigots not to spread hatred anc act on their terrible instincts is a stupid as, well, Trump.
Are you Jew...ish?
It’s not like other religions in that way. Even if you don’t believe in Judaism, you, my friend, are still a Jew. You can’t really opt out of it.
Maybe that’s why Jews are Jewish. It’s more vague and casts a wider net than other religions. “I’m a Hindu.” “I’m a Muslim.” “I’m Jew…ish.” Less commitment is involved when “ish” is in the mix. I’m not starving. I’m hungry-ish. I’m not freezing. Im cold-ish. I’m not a Jew, but I’m fore sure Jewish.