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Less fixed, more flexible
Dr Ilona Boniwell, one of the world leaders in the field of positive psychology, described how people tend to have either a ‘fixed mindset’ or a ‘growth’ mindset. Her research discovered this often has to do with how we were taught at school or parented.
If, as a child, you were praised more often for getting things right, then you might have developed a more fixed mindset. When things are going well, then all is good in your world; the trouble starts when you hit a setback. You might find you have a a tendency towards an all-or-nothing mentality in this situation - success or failure. This is because you believe your talents and abilities are fixed, so if you fail first time round you will often want t give up immediately and do something else.
If, however, you were praised for your efforts as a child, you will tend to have a growth mindset. Failure isn’t an immediate trigger to abandon ship, it’s just an indication that you need to learn from the situation or try a new approach. Flexibility is inbuilt as you enjoy the process of finding out how to make something work as much as the end result.